Insecure
by Akuro13
Summary: Even the greatest of people can have insecurities, and not everyone has someone to remedy them. Morgan/Reid. slash.
1. Chapter 1

So this one is a pretty common plot: Reid feeling insecure, but the next part will shake it up a bit.

Okay let's see...I own nothing, um, this is Morgan/Reid slash, annnd I hope you enjoy! (oh yeah, sorry if there is any grammar/spelling mistakes)

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><p><span>Insecure<span>

The lights were dim, the music loud, bass thumping, and it was warm in the club. Warm enough to make the prospect of dancing unpleasant, though the amount of bodies swaying on the dance floor says differently. It definitely doesn't stop Derek notes Spencer who looks away from the dancing agent, placed right in the middle of a group of girls, and back to his drink. After taking a swallow he tucks his lengthening hair behind his ears and looks around at the other people, engrossed in their own conversations, own little worlds, and Spencer finds himself feeling...invisible, like he blends in with the background.

Of course he is the one that agrees to come to these places with Derek even though he knows he doesn't fit in. There is no flashy quality about him, he doesn't dance, he doesn't converse well with others, he just doesn't stand out in a crowd, not like Derek does. Spencer is always asked to accompany the older agent when he goes out and sixty-five percent of the time he declines, the other thirty-five working as a reality check. Derek and him aren't plausible.

He continues looking around, alone, and it's not Derek being a jerk and ditching him at the bar to go dance, no it's not that because the man is willing to sit right there next to him all night, but it's Spencer telling him to go have fun and dance like he loves to do, and so he does what Reid tells him to. His eyes easily gravitate back to Morgan's moving form and as if he can feel Reid staring, he meets his eyes and winks. Spencer gives a smile and small wave that felt normal enough to him but apparently looked different to the other.

Derek saw Spencer's smile and it seemed off, not right. Immediately stepping away from the dance floor, not paying any attention to the questioning of two of his dance partners, he strides over to Reid who is now crinkling his brow in confusion.

"What?" the younger asks.

"What's wrong?" Derek counters with his own question. A light sheen of sweat can be seen on his brow, his breathing a little off, and how strange is it that Reid finds his scent amazing right now?

"Nothing is wrong."

"Hey," he starts, leaning in closer and wearing a light smirk, "I know when somethings wrong with you, talk to me."

Reid frowns. He knows Derek is right, the older man always knows.

"Just tired is all."

"Oh is that all," Derek lightheartedly mocks while throwing an arm around Spencer's shoulders, leaning on the still seated form. "I'm sorry I left you here by yourself," he stated more seriously.

"But I said-"

"I know, I know you said for me to go but what _I'm_ sayin' is I'm gonna stay right here, you can finish your drink, and then we can get out of here 'cause I know this isn't your thing."

Reid smiles his appreciation but he has to be honest, that's not the whole reason.

"Thanks but that's not it."

"Huh?" Derek didn't quite catch that so he leans his ear in closer.

"I said thanks but that's not exactly it!" he says louder so he can be heard over the blaring music.

Morgan stares for all of about two seconds before straightening up and motioning for Reid to follow him, and he does so with bewilderment rolling around in his head. They make their way to the back of the club and over to the restrooms, Derek pushing through the door and into the bright room, their eyes having to adjust to the difference in light. It's quieter in here, only the bass being decipherable, the lyrics are drowned out. The only other person leaves soon after they enter and Morgan locks the door, the click of the deadbolt sounding through the air.

"There. Now what's going on baby?"

Spencer looks up from the floor and is met with Derek directly in front of him. He gives a one shoulder shrug and the corner of his lips quirk up briefly in a bashful smile.

"Don't you think locking the door is a little extreme? If I didn't no better I'd say you wanted to do more than talk."

"Oh, changing the subject are we? Well sorry to disappoint but I'm not falling for it, so spill."

"I don't know, I just-" the genius pulled his lips into a thin line and glanced to the side before meeting Morgan's concerned gaze. "I look around and I see people who match: extremely extroverted people with extremely extroverted people, ridiculously attractive people with others of equal looks, even wallflowers gravitate to each other, and I just feel like we don't...that we don't match."

Derek's gaze turned hurt.

"Are you telling me we shouldn't be together?"

Spencer hesitantly reached a hand out to comfortingly hold Derek's. He has gotten much better with initiating physical contact since being with him.

"Yes, I'm saying logically we shouldn't be together but I am NOT saying that I don't like being together. This, us, you and me, being together is one of the best things that has happened to me," this is turning embarrassing but he continues on because Derek is always telling him to talk about any problem he has. "I just get reminded sometimes of how different we are." Large arms pull him into a secure hug as that soothing voice is sounding in his ear.

"Hey now, I thought we agreed that no matter what we're doin' and where we're at, as long as we're together we were good."

Spencer wrapped his own arms around the older man and relaxed into the embrace before speaking. "Yeah I know, I guess I just get feelings of mediocrity once in a while. I don't get noticed like you do."

Morgan pulled away at arms length, resting his hands on thin shoulders, and cocked an eyebrow.

"So you want to get noticed?" The genius normally avoided attention.

"Yes and no. While I don't like the stares of scrutiny and confusion as to why you are with someone like me, I would enjoy being looked at as someone worthy of you."

"Oh baby boy," Derek sighed out and pulled Spencer into his side, placing a quick kiss above his ear before turning them to a mirror. "It seems you've got me on some ridiculous platform when really that huge mind of yours should have us side by side on that comfy couch of yours and simply enjoying each other."

He grinned at Spencer, who had his own smile, and they gazed at each other through the mirror until there was a pounding on the door.

"Hold it! You'll be fine!"

"Derek," Spencer hissed. "We _are_ holding up the bathroom, we should probably get-"

"ah ah ah, not yet, not 'till we give you an overhaul."

"Wait, what? I'm not a car."

It was Derek's turn to look confused.

"Huh? A car?"

"You know, the show? Overhaulin'?"

"Really? You watch a show about cars?" Spencer shrugged at his question. How did he not know this? "Anyway, take off your tie."

"Why?" He voiced his wondering even though he already started loosening the tie as dark hands worked on the buttons to his vest.

"You said you don't get noticed, right? Well I have a theory that it's just your demeanor and appearance. Your to tense and seriously? Tie? Slacks? A _vest_? To a club? Nah, we gotta make you more club appropriate. You definitely already have the good looks." Morgan smirked out his last sentence and gave Reid a kiss on the lips once the vest was fully removed. He has such an adorable boyfriend.

"You think it'll work?"

"Don't know 'till we try."

Derek set the stripped off items on the sink counter and began rolling the shirt sleeves up his genius' forearms and then unbuttoned a couple of top buttons. Seriously, how is the kid not choking? He proceeds to step back to get a better look, Reid slightly raising his hands as if he was being showcased. Maybe he should start turning in slow circles?

"At least your not wearing the khakis, grey is better." Spencer didn't see what made a difference. "Now the hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?" A pale hand went up to self-consciously brush down brown hair.

"It needs to be looser, not so uptight." A playful grin was tugging at Morgan's lips before he completely disheveled the wavy locks with his hands.

"Hey!" Reid exclaimed from surprise. He looked like a complete mess once the older agent's hands stopped spazzing on top of his head.

"Nope, that didn't work."

"You think?" he deadpanned to Morgan's statement of the obvious.

"Okay smooth your hair back down to how it was, I got another idea."

Sighing at the older man's thoughtful look, he did as told. "There."

Spencer was expecting more crazy messing but was instead kissed, hard. He took a steadying step back from the heated force and gladly allowed a slick tongue into his mouth. Sure it was abrupt and random but he wouldn't miss a chance to kiss his boyfriend. Strong fingers slid through his hair, rubbed his scalp, tugged, and gripped, all the while his mouth was being so thoroughly ravaged he was left lightheaded once they pulled apart.

"Perfect."

Reid didn't even bother looking at the mirror to see what his hair looked like because he honestly didn't care anymore as it was momentarily wiped from his mind.

They exited the bathroom, Reid's vest and tie in hand, and saw a guy next to the door occupied by a mini skirt wearing blonde. Guess that's why the knocking stopped. Ignoring the groping pair, they continued through the mass of people back to the bar. After finding two seats they each got a drink and waited. Derek figured some girls would pass, hell maybe even a guy, that would give them the up and down look with a flirty smile, maybe a wink, and he could prove to Reid that he was just as capable of drawing attention as himself. However, the younger was surprisingly impatient.

"It's not working, told you it wouldn't."

"Reid, man, it's been like two minutes, loosen up. Remember, it's all in the vibe." He moved his hands out as if tracing a horizon on his last word.

"That's ridiculous, the _vibe_? How do you get _the vibe_?"

"Well a good start is to not scrunch your eye brows up, however cute it may be, and go back to feeling when I pretty much had to carry you out of the bathroom 'cause you were so relaxed."

Morgan snickered and grinned with pride as Reid blushed.

"Can't help it if your a good kisser." He wasn't even sure if the other could hear what he just said, maybe it's a good thing he might not have because it's embarrassing, but by the smile he is receiving, Derek probably heard. Running his hand through his hair, for once not tucking it behind his ear, he gave an easy smile back, starting off a light conversation between them and giving Derek the chance to make him laugh. It ended though when a hand that clearly wasn't a large, dark hand since they were both next to him on the bar began running up his back to his shoulder, followed by the weight of someone leaning on him.

Oh gosh! Don't freak out! Don't start babbling out facts!

"Hi! You two wouldn't be interested in coming over to hang with me and my friends would you?" The attractive brunette nodded over to a table with, oh crap, five other girls. Ummmmm. "You can sit next to me if you want," she said with a sly smile directed at Spencer, lip gloss glistening from the lights off the bar. Spencer swallowed and Derek laughed.

"Sorry pretty lady but we're gonna have to turn down the offer, even if it is tempting." Derek kicked on a bright smile. The girl was cool about it, instead of turning bitchy like some tend to do she pouted and wistfully told Reid her friend really wanted to meet him.

"Sorry," he apologized with a smile to match and she easily shrugged it off.

"Oh it's fine, maybe we'll see each other again sometime, who knows." Her lips were pulled up into a sweet grin and she playfully bumped Reid with her hip before waving bye as she walked back to her friends.

"She was so into you! Didn't I tell you? Yeah I told you. Even her friend wanted to meet you!"

"I don't think that has ever happened to me." There was wonderment clear in his voice, eyes widely looking at the other in surprise.

"What can I say, your a looker kid, and not to be mean but I wouldn't be with someone that wasn't hot. Soooo," he dragged the word out to change subjects, knowing Reid isn't going to like it, "wanna dance?"

"What? No, no matter how much you smile like that, Derek! I don't want to dance!" The slender man protested but he was already being pulled out of his seat.

"Hey, my man, think you can hold this for me?" Derek asked the bar tender, holding up Reid's stuff, and received an affirmative nod. Gotta love cool bartenders. Of course he goes here pretty often and the guy kind of knows him. He stuffed the clothing on the lower counter so they wouldn't get bothered by other patrons and dragged a still protesting Reid to the dance floor.

"I can't dance, what are you doing?"

"I don't care if you can't dance and I don't care if people care you can't dance, I just wanna dance with _you_."

It is hard to argue when he uses that _tone_, the no nonsense but still affectionate tone and those intense eyes. So, needless to say, Spence finds himself on the dance floor with a tall wall of muscular chocolate against his back. Great, now he is thinking like Garcia. Warm hands rested on his hips, swaying them to the beat and he felt so self-conscious, like everyone was staring, but every time he looked up and around there wasn't an eye on them. Well, there were a few but they were just passing glances. There were no stares of malice or stares indicating he didn't belong where he was, it felt nice.

Not that he _needed_ some kind of acceptance because all that he needed was right behind him, Derek Morgan with his arms wrapped around his waist and his face practically buried in his neck.

"Still feeling insecure?" Derek asked into his ear, confident and self-assured. Sounding like _Derek_.

"It's not like I _always_ feel that way, just every now and then. But no. I feel perfectly fine and content. Seriously though, can I stop dancing now?"

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><p>The next and final part will be coming out soon! Let me know what your thoughts are! =^.^=<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

I suppose this can be set quite a bit of time after the first chapter. Hope you readers enjoy this because I know I have!

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><p><span>Insecure Ch.2<span>

"Are you reading one of my books?" came Reid's sleepy question, voice ruff, his hands coming up to rub at his tired eyes.

It was early, Derek crashed at Spencer's for the night, and he happened to get up before the genius this morning, making himself comfortable on the kick ass couch in the living room while the other caught up on some Z's.

"Um. No?"

"Derek, your holding it open right there in your hands, I can see it."

"Right." He closes it and sets it down on the table in front of the couch right next to his coffee, hoping the subject just blows over right along with the solid thump of the hardback against the wood.

"Why were you reading one of my books? You never touch them, always saying something about dieing from the abundance of boring information that could leak into your body." Reid had his eyebrows scrunched and his lips pursed as he stared concernedly and confusedly at Derek.

"Uh, I just got bored, and figured why not fight fire with fire? Hey, you want some coffee? Let me get that for you?" A pleasant smile covered his face before he sprang off the couch and went to get the sleep rumpled man his coffee. Now when he says rumpled he means crazy adorable with wild hair, shirt collar falling farther to one side than the other, and baggy pants that are to long for him making the bottom of the pant legs excessively stack on top of his feet in folds.

On his way to the kitchen he adjusted his own sleep pants as the waistband had somehow twisted around. He would have adjust his shirt but he is not wearing one because really? What the hell is a shirt? That was a foreign term for him when pajamas were involved. Reid was right behind him judging from the sound of his tired steps, not quite picking his feet up all way and sliding them across the floor. He pulled a mug from the cabinet by the sink and poured it full of coffee, making sure to add too much sugar, in his opinion anyway, before handing it over.

The crinkling of Reid's brow smoothed out once he got the first taste of the dark liquid. Morgan swears it's like life to him.

"Thanks," is mumbled out around the rim of the mug and he chuckles at the coffee addict.

"No problem." He presses a kiss to the side of the bed mussed head before pulling some stray locks out of the still drinking man's face. "How's a cheese omelet sound?"

Finally tearing his mug away form his lips, Reid spoke. "Actually, it sounds really good. Hey, can you cut up those microwavable, round sausage patties and put that in there?"

"Those things taste awful, I don't get why you like them." He saw Reid shrug once and then return to sipping his coffee, leaving Morgan to get eggs, cheese, and the sausage out. There was time to get the pan heated, sausage in the microwave, and start pouring the egg in before Reid's mind fully kicked in.

"So why were you really reading my book?"

Well damn.

"Why do _you_ think I was reading one of your geek books?" After looking over his shoulder, he noticed the crinkle in the other's brow was back.

"Why would I ask you why were you reading it if I already had the answer?" The poor kid looked so confused. "Did I hit you over the head or something while I was sleeping?" Amusement tinged his words.

"Not that I remember, and I think I would have noticed if that happened." The sheets of cheese were out and the sausage was finishing up in the microwave. Also, the subject has not been dropped. That needs to change. Stat.

"The more you avoid the question the more suspicious I become." Reid sounded so matter-of-fact, showing he wasn't going to let up anytime soon.

"There's nothing to be suspicious of, okay?"

"Why won't you tell me? It's just _not_ something you would do." Reid could tell the other was frowning, mug still in his hand but he didn't bother raising it up to drink more, his eyes flicking from the speedy chopping of sausage to the quick placing of cheese and the sausage bits. The omelet was folded and left alone to cook a few moments more. By the time it was being slid on to a plate, he had enough of the silence. "Hey, why ar-"

"Just drop it Reid!" Morgan didn't even look at Reid, couldn't look at him, as he knew there would be a large frown and big, sad eyes. He slid the plate onto the counter behind him, the one Reid was leaning on. The only sound was the mixing up of his own omelet until a slender hand was picking up the plate and setting it on the small table by the kitchen after the shuffling of feet.

"You called me by my last name. I thought we agreed not to do that but at work." Spencer huffed a breath of air out, almost like a bark of laughter but not quite. "And you were the one who suggested it! Another thing you said was for me to tell you about any problem I had, I didn't realize you couldn't do the same with me."

Morgan sighed out a frustrated sigh. Oh God, this person was gonna be the death of him, he just sounds so hurt. But why shouldn't he? He can't even remember the last time they used last names outside of work, it was too formal, just another reminder of what they deal with and they didn't want to bring that into their relationship. It's also messed up that he is shutting Spencer out, something he never wanted to be on the receiving end of.

Leaving the stirred up egg on the counter, he shut the stove off and grabbed a fork. Making his way over to the slumped over form at the table, taking note that the eyes following him were indeed big and sad.

"You forgot this." Reid took the fork from Morgan's out stretched hand and then his eyes dropped to his plate. The chair Morgan pulled out barely made a noise on the linoleum floor. When he sat down he was across the table from his boyfriend, who was looking more like a kicked puppy, and suddenly remembered the first time they sat at this little two-seater table. He had asked why it was so small and Reid told him he was lucky there were even two seats seeing as he never had company and never needed more than one chair.

"Look, I'm sorry Spencer, really really sorry."

"It's fine, I'm fine"

"No, it's not and no, your not. That wasn't fair of me to make this a one way thing."

"Yeah, your such a jerk." Didn't sound very confident, sounded weak. Derek watched as Spencer watched his plate.

"You mean that?"

"Nope..." He looked up then, concern clear. "What's going on Derek?"

"It's-no I don't want to start that way." He loosened up his shoulders and took a deep breath. This was hard for him, okay? Admitting this. "I feel...worried...uncertain. Oh hell, I don't feel like I'm enough."

Reid sat back in his chair, as if recoiling from Derek's admission. "Are you feeling insecure about something?" Derek furrowed his brow, not liking the disbelieving tone and how direct and on point the question was.

"That's why I don't like talking about stuff like this, everyone expects me to be the rock, like I don't ever feel doubt." Spencer was at his side then, eyes boring down on him.

"I thought-it's how you always seem. You've never shown me anything _but_ confident Derek."

"I know baby." He pulled the slender man closer, turning in his chair so he can bury his face against the other's stomach. "I saw this quote the other day..."

"Mhm?" Spencer encouraged him to go on, draping his hands over a muscular back.

"It was by Ernest Hemingway and it said 'happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.'" Placing his chin now on the flat stomach, he looked up at his genius. "Am I going to be able to _keep_ you happy?"

"Derek," Reid stated, mirth filtering through. "It's not like your stupid."

"Oh I know I'm not stupid," duh, he is pretty damn smart, "I'm just not sure if I'm smart enough for _you_ though. I never get the jokes you tell and I can't ever follow when you go off on your insane intellectual rants."

A quirk of pink lips flashed as Derek started rubbing Spencer's back, like _he_ was the one admitting something he felt inadequate at and needed comfort.

"Is that why you were reading one of my books? Your crazy, you know that?"

"I know I'm crazy for you." A flirty smirk was in place and dark eyes were twinkling.

"You know your crazy for me but do you know that I love you?"

"I sure as hell do."

"Well as far as I'm concern, you know all you need to know to make me happy."

"Wow, didn't know you could be so sappy." Oh but how he liked it, the few occasions Reid spoke about them so freely.

Derek's head was playfully pushed away with a laugh, Spencer taking a step back from him to prepare informing Derek on his own sappy nature when he was pulled right back in and guided to sit on the larger man's lap.

"Now how 'bout a kiss?" Morgan tapped a finger tip against his bottom lip and couldn't stop grinning. His genius rolled his eyes before leaning in to press their lips together. Dark hands rose to frame pale cheeks to keep them together, holding them in place as they moved their mouths together, slowly and sweetly, enjoying the closeness of the other. Derek bit down on a pink bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth and his grin still wasn't going away. Even when Spencer wound his slender arms around his neck and enthusiastically kissed him, effectively occupying his lips, there was still a big ass smile pleasantly burning on the inside.

There was a noticeable change in Reid's breathing when he whispered out his question. "Still feeling insecure?"

"God no," Derek managed to say in reply before sliding his hands to the back of Spencer's neck and attacking his lips. Now this is a nice breakfast.

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><p>Finally! I got this out! So relieved this is done because now I only have the 3rd part of Fascinated and my Glee story to worry about getting updated! And, as always, tell me what you think! =^.^=<p> 


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